Pen Name

The person behind the pardon:

According to emails that were leaked to The New York Times, White House aide Jeff Zients approved the use of autopen to sign off on Fauci’s pardon. Take a look at this major new development: BREAKING: Reportedly Dr. Fauci’s Presidential pardon was approved at 10:30 PM by White House aide Jeff Zients, using Joe Biden’s autopen signature. pic.twitter.com/n3mlNu5yzz — The Patriot Oasis™ (@ThePatriotOasis) July 14, 2025 Oh Shizzles… ‼️ According to emails leaked to NYT, Anthony Fauci’s pardon was approved at 10:30pm by WH aid Jeff Zients using the AUTOPEN signature Does that mean Fauci’s pardon is now Null and Void? pic.twitter.com/tcGMFOX3ve — MJTruthUltra (@MJTruthUltra) July 14, 2025 The New York Times report reads: At the Jan. 19 meeting, which took place in the Yellow Oval Room of the White House residence, Mr. Biden kept his aides until nearly 10 p.m. to talk through such decisions, according to people familiar with the matter. The emails show that an aide to Mr. Siskel sent a draft summary of Mr. Biden’s decisions at that meeting to an assistant to Mr. Zients, copying Mr. Siskel, at 10:03 p.m. The assistant forwarded it to Mr. Reed and Mr. Zients, asking for their approval, and then sent a final version to Ms. Feldman — copying many meeting participants and aides — at 10:28 p.m. Three minutes later, Mr. Zients hit “reply all” and wrote, “I approve the use of the autopen for the execution of all of the following pardons.” Notably, Jeff Zients is one of the people that Rep. James Comer is calling to testify as part of his investigation into the autopen scandal.

Will the real signer please stand up...

Nazi Elmo

Hate Me Elmo:

The posts, which have now since been deleted, featured the children’s icon, who is usually known to push positive and apolitical content, saying nasty words about Jews while pushing Qanon conspiracy theories about Jeffrey Epstein. “Elmo says ALL JEWS SHOULD DIE. F*** JEWS. DONALD TRUMP IS NETANYAHU’S PUPPET BECAUSE HE IS IN EPSTEIN FILES. JEWS CONTROL THE WORLD AND NEED TO BE EXTERMINATED,” the puppet said in one post. “RELEASE THE FILES [Donald Trump] CHILD FUCKER,” he said in another. “Kill all Jews,” he also said. The posts were deleted; the account has given no official statement on the matter.

Maybe they were too busy fighting evil Elmo...

Hoax Haters

People haven't fallen for it:

While the number of Americans afraid of the sky falling increased from 35% in 1989 to 40% in 2000, it has remained stagnant since then. That initial small change occurred when climate change activism became a lucrative grift after NASA scientist James Hansen testified before the U.S. Senate in 1988, claiming that climate change was already happening. “The data showed that in 1989, 35% of those polled admitted they were ‘greatly afraid,’ and those numbers have basically stayed the same, with 39% feeling that way in 2000, and five years later, that number sits at 40 per cent,” Enten said. “We went back all the way to 1989, look at that, it was 35%,” he added. “2000, 40%. 2020, 46%. And in 2025, 40%. Which is the exact same percentage as back in 2000.” The CNN journalist blamed climate change activists for failing to convince Americans that global warming was happening. “Americans aren’t afraid of climate change!” Enten lamented. “Climate activists have not successfully made the case to the American people!”

Scare tactics haven't worked...

Last Laughs

Comedy is dead:

You can’t scrub history clean and expect to learn anything. Archie was wrong—but visible. Al was broken—but honest. Eddie’s Buckwheat was offensive—but on purpose. We don’t grow by pretending. We grow by watching it all. Laughing at what hurts. Cringing at what used to be okay. Sitting in that discomfort until it teaches us something. I know; some people reading this will say, "Don't forget about 'Blazing Saddles'!" Everything I've illustrated was condensed into a two-hour movie. But I'm staying small-screen. We used to trust viewers to get it. Now we build bubble wrap and whisper down the hallway, hoping nobody files a complaint. Here’s the ugly truth: wokeness isn’t empathy. It’s erasure. It erases messy truth. It erases humor that doesn’t come with a handbook. It erases every sketch, show, and scene that dares to offend on the way to a greater point. We lost comedy because we stopped trusting people. We stopped trusting them to tell it. To hear it. To live with it. And if we don’t fight for the right to laugh again—deep belly laughs that sting and stick and shake you—we’ll lose something bigger than entertainment. We’ll lose the one place we used to come together to feel human. Even if it hurt.

Comedy was never meant to be painless...

Dog Catchers

Curb your cur:

Wamiz, a French-language site devoted to news of our four-legged friends, reported on Tuesday that anyone walking a dog “on the streets of Iran now risks more than just a fine – and it's all down to deeply religious reasons.” Walking a dog has been illegal for years in Tehran and many other cities, and now there is nowhere in the entire Islamic Republic that you can take your dog for a walk and not risk running afoul of the nation’s feared morality police. The ban is designed, according to Iranian authorities, to "maintain public order, ensure security and protect public health." Wamiz, however, notes that “critics suspect a cultural-political message behind the crackdown.” This because for many Islamic hardliners in Iran, having a dog as a pet is not just unclean, but also shows that the dog owner has succumbed to the Satanic lure of the Western lifestyle. There are few things one can do to arouse more suspicion among Iranian authorities. Owning a dog is such a bad thing to do in the Islamic Republic of Iran that the Ayatollah Khamenei himself has emphasized that "keeping dogs for reasons other than herding, hunting, and guard dogs is to be considered reprehensible.” He explained that "walking dogs damages Islamic culture as well as hygiene and the peace of others.”

Keep your freedom on a tight leash...

Pop Songs

Tradition hits the charts:

“It’s a stark cultural contrast from last summer,” Semafor noted, recalling last year having been “defined” by the rise of “boundary-pushing” pop stars like Sabrina Carpenter, Chappell Roan and Charli XCX, whose “brat summer” trend “was embraced by Kamala Harris’ presidential campaign.” But in the summer of 2025, “things are looking very different” with regards to which musicians are popular in the United States, pop music commentator and podcaster Sam Murphy pointed out. “What they’re representing is a shift toward something far more safer, far more traditional, and far more conservative,” Murphy said. “Many of these names have strong religious beliefs or religious backgrounds, [and] it is coming through in the music.” Veteran pop stars, meanwhile, “haven’t managed to cut through,” the podcaster added, citing Lady Gaga’s 2025 studio album, Mayhem, with singles “Abracadabra” and “Disease” struggling on the charts. “They both failed to get into the Top 10,” Murphy said, adding that instead, Lady Gaga’s new song, “Die with a Smile” is “the huge single off the record, and that represents something far more traditional.”

Safety comes in first...

Free Climbers

Let them climb:

The World Health Organization says that 81 percent of adolescents worldwide do not get enough physical activity, noting that rates of sedentary behavior in young people tend to rise as their country develops economically. In some American cities, the Trust for Public Land says, as many as two-thirds of children lack access to the kinds of nearby parks that would encourage free play. And a report by the Aspen Institute’s Project Play initiative, a national program aimed at increasing youth-sports participation, concluded that compared with other activities, such as organized sports, “free play is all but a thing of the past.” Some kids lack access to woods, fields, and other open spaces where they might romp free. Some have parents who forbid that brand of tomfoolery. In the United States, many parents habitually tamp down on horseplay out of fear of injury to their children (or their furniture)—or because social norms dictate that they get their squiggly kids unsquiggled and into waiting rooms, subways, stores, airplanes, and restaurants, where children are expected to “behave.” That impulse, however, risks reinforcing the notion that sedentariness is preferable at a time in a kid’s life when they really do need to move.

Move or lose...