No Fun Allowed

Welcome to recess repression:

A family moved into the Montgomery County school district unaware of what they were in store for. The first inkling of trouble came when the daughter came home from school and reported that they do recess a little bit differently than they did at her old school. "My daughter was taken aback by how many rules there were," said the mom. How many rules? Four pages of rules governing the activities of children while on recess. Some may think that oppressive and overwhelming. But it's obvious that you don't think like a progressive. Otherwise, you'd recognize the "Montgomery County Public Schools Playground Supervision Recess Procedures for Playground Aides" for what it is: guidelines that suggest anything they don't much like is verboten. The "Recess Procedures" state, among other things: Baseball and football games are not permitted at any time. Haphazard running, chasing, and tag games on the blacktop are not permitted. A student may not begin to swing on rings and bars until the student ahead of him/her has finished. Once they do swing or climb, they must use an "opposed thumb grip." (As opposed to their teeth?) Otherwise, have a ton of fun, kids! "It really feels as though maybe we've lost touch with what's developmentally appropriate," the mom told me.

Go twiddle your opposing thumgs, kids...