Turkey Trots

PETA wants you to quit cold turkey:

A new video on PETA's Instagram page features an "undercover investigator" who claims that people "just don’t know what happens to the birds before they end up in the meat case." What happens, according to the anonymous investigator, is stuff you don't want to know about. I'll just say that workers were stuffing the birds with something other than cornbread and celery. There's just one problem. The video is two decades old, and Butterball, according to a statement made to the New York Sun, "was taken prior to Butterball becoming a private company and prior to our engagement and certification through American Humane." If you're eating a Butterball turkey that you picked up at Kroger in 2004, you have bigger worries about that bird than what some prankster workers might have done to it. .... Sometimes, you just want to grab PETA by the lapels, give them a good, sturdy shake, and remind them, "We're OMNIVORES, you fool!" But then you wonder what you might get on you and drop the whole idea.

Time for PETA to get stuffed...