Sun Downers

British scientists have decided to declare war on the sun:

Per Simon Kent’s article in Breitbart News, this is not the only harebrained scheme these literal dimwits at Aria (the Advanced Research and Invention Agency) promise for someone else’s money. According to the Daily Telegraph, a host of possible options for climate control are being considered by scientists with government approval alongside £50 million in taxpayer funds: Scientists are considering outdoor field trials, which could include injecting aerosols into the atmosphere or brightening clouds to reflect sunshine, as a way to prevent runaway climate change. Clearly, the old-school itinerant cloud seeders preying upon the angst of drought-riddled farmers and their small towns have nothing on Aria and its siren song of salvation, for they have the entire UK government on board to foot the bill for what should have been named “Operation Daedalus.” But though the dimwits will be confronting the sun, they assure us that, unlike the heedless youth in Greek mythology who flew too close to the sun, these climate cultists vow to not go down in flames. According to Professor Mark Symes, there will be “small controlled outdoor experiments on particular approaches.” The professor then went on to preemptively calm any member of the public who had been traumatized by Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein and had qualms with a lab-coated, modern Prometheus playing God: “Everything we do is going to be safe by design. We’re absolutely committed to responsible research, including responsible outdoor research… We have strong requirements around the length of time experiments can run for and their reversibility, and we won’t be funding the release of any toxic substances to the environment.” (Author’s Note: The professor is not funding anything. The British public is.)

No sunshine please, we're British...